This is about getting diagnosed for ADHD in the UK.
Imagine paying for Netflix every month →
And then paying when you watch a show →
And then getting monthly bills because one of the actors isn't signed with Netflix so you have to pay them directly.
It wouldn't be right, right?
Only ADHDers: 90% wrong BUT
100% convinced every single time 🤫
Research shows ADHDers maintain genuine confidence in their time estimates despite consistent inaccuracy and past evidence to the contrary.
Thanks science, that's validating lol
Honestly do you get the thought process:
Yesterday it took 2 hours?
→ Irrelevant.
Last week it was 90 minutes?
→ That was different.
Every time for the past year?
→ OK but THIS time I know what to do.
And then you seem careless.
Like you're ignoring the pattern.
When you in fact BELIEVE 15 minutes.
Until you're 45 minutes in 🤭
Essentially it's a life of eternal optimism.
Where the time data never sticks.
ADHDers, grieve your career if you have to.
(no, I'm not telling you to leave your role)
I left business change management in September.
Why did I wait until burnout caught up with me again?
You know the pattern.
The second burnout in 2 years.
The mounting overwhelm.
The masking that stops working.
But I didn't expect the grief before I left.
It took a while for me to accept.
It wasn't "I'm bailing on this career."
It was "This career requires me to fail myself."
You don't have to leave your role of course.
But how do you actually grieve a career you're still in?
Well, name what you're mourning before burnout names it for you.
YOU choose which version of your career identity you're ready to let go of.
If you've been the person who "handles everything," you grieve that superhuman mask.
If you've been the one who never says no, you mourn the people-pleaser who got you here.
Career grief is essentially a choice.
Which version of yourself do you release before burnout makes that choice for you?
The grief you acknowledge now protects the choices you still have.
The relationship isn't working.
(and ADHD gets all the blame)
I know ADHDers who blame themselves for struggle.
Because they have ADHD.
Must be their fault, right?
Wrong.
Here's the pre-breakup audit that changes the angle:
➡️ The ADHD Check:
• Do other relationships work fine?
• Are you thriving elsewhere in life?
• Did these "flaws" exist before them?
➡️ The Compatibility Check:
• Do they accept your coping strategies?
• Are your needs "too much" for them?
• Do they research ADHD themselves?
➡️ The Accountability Check:
• Where's their growth edge?
• What patterns existed before you?
• Which issues would exist without ADHD?
➡️ The Energy Check:
• Who initiates repair after conflicts?
• Who does the emotional labor?
• Who's always adjusting?
ADHD explains differences.
Not every failed connection.
*ADHDers saving this to wave in someone's face later 🤭
Applause now, burnout later.
Is that the deal for ADHDers at work?
ADHDers tend to do this at work all the time.
Try to seem more “together“.
Do you script updates to look calm? Better prepared?
Do you hide tabs, mute the fidget, smile?
Then during the performance review you get:
Applause for poise.
For structure.
Your calm.
Do these mean more than impact?
🤔 I'm wondering what's on your receipt for that.
Headaches?
3 a.m. emails?
Weekend wipeouts?
I'm wondering what if we eased up, like unmask at 5%.
→ Maybe work from your visual tracker today.
→ Or say, “I process out loud, just hear me out.”
→ Or even take a call in a room and not your desk.
What you contribute already counts.
You don't get an A+ for following job success tips.
(they didn't have ADHDers in mind)
Here's the thing right:
These tips work brilliantly.
If you process urgency, time, and motivation the way the tips expect.
Following work success advice with ADHD be like:
Tip: Dress for the job you want.
ADHDer: Judging from my outfit, I want to be:
Director of Mismatched Socks & Every Color.
Tip: Eat the frog first thing in the morning.
ADHDer: I've been staring at that frog for 3 hours.
He's part of the family now.
Tip: Time block your calendar.
ADHDer: I did.
And time-traveled past every single block.
Tip: Take regular breaks to recharge.
ADHDer: Took a break.
Reorganized the supplies cupboard.
Tip: Morning routines set you up for success.
ADHDer: Mine is finding phone, keys, and the will to move.
In that order.
Tip: Use a planner to stay organized.
ADHDer: I have 6 planners.
None of them know about each other.
Tip: Single-task for better productivity.
ADHDer: I'm writing an email, planning a project
... and solving world hunger in my head.
Tip: Set boundaries with your time.
ADHDer: Time is a social construct I don't understand.
Tip: Reply to emails within 24 hours.
ADHDer: I saw it. I'll respond.
But first, existential dread about what to say.
No amount of "just try harder" changes ADHD wiring.
Typical job advice is the wrong size.
To all of you who won't engage with this post.
(But wish you could)
I get it, if you resonate but scroll past.
Because engaging feels like outing yourself.
I hear this from late-identified ADHDers daily.
You realised about your ADHD as an adult.
And you want understanding.
You want to stop pretending.
But disclosure feels like professional self-sabotage.
That "everyone's a little ADHD" comment?
→It taught you to stay quiet.
That meeting where a peer called ADHD an excuse?
→You remembered.
I keep posting about ADHD on here 3x a week.
And I wanted you to know that ⬇️
This advocacy includes you.
Especially you.
I like to think that every post chips away at stigma.
Every conversation normalizes difference.
Even the ones you witness silently.
You don't need to be visible to be valid.
P.S. 92% of us worry about coworkers finding out.
Not all ADHD coping is masking.
(but we're treating them the same)
I used to see my co-founder skills as "fake."
Just pretending to get it.
I rejected real skills I'd built.
Skills that genuinely helped me.
Yes, they took more effort to develop.
Yes, neurotypicals learn them easier.
But that doesn't make them fake.
Learning copywriting? Real skill.
AI-powered ADHD coaching? Real.
Wearing a marketing hat for viberie? Real.
Masking is hiding who you are.
Skill-building is growing who you are.
One depletes you. The other serves you.
When ADHDers call everything masking, we throw away a whole toolkit.
Your skills are real, even if they came harder.
Last-minute Halloween costume ideas.
ADHD edition 👻
Tell me which one is it?
You either forgot it was today.
Or you've been planning your outfit since June.
The first you say?
I've got you.
🎃 For Halloween this year, dress as:
→ Your phone at 2% battery
→ An impulse buy, still in the box
→ An audiobook you restarted 6 times
→ All the hobbies you started since May
→ A human lost & found of random items
→ A human notification badge (837 unread)
May your dopamine be plentiful today.
I waited this long for the wrong help.
(no, I didn't look in the wrong places)
This summer I got my ADHD diagnosis.
At 39, everything clicked.
So I went looking for support.
💜 Here's what I was hoping to find:
→ Help now, not 3 years from now
→ Safe space to figure out who I am
→ Coaching that gets adult ADHDers
→ Tools based on current neuroscience
→ Personalised to what I like, not generic
→ Iterative, because we change and grow
→ Support that doesn't run out, or cap out
→ Support designed for ADHDers, not fixes
→ No shame, judgment or masking required
😔 Can you guess what I found instead?
→ Multi-year waiting lists.
→ Unaffordable coaching.
→ Neurotypical tips, fixes.
So I've gone all in.
Building it myself.
With my husband.
For every 39-year-old who just found out.
And every late-identified ADHDer.
Who didn't get that support.
Or even any help at all.
The right ADHD support doesn't ask you to change first.